Your quiz results are in!

Based on your answers you have a trauma bond making it impossible for you move on with your life.

Congratulations! 

Feels good, doesn't it?

When you come out of a toxic relationship, there are so many things going on in your body and mind, many of which you are unaware of, and why would you be? You are trying to understand what has happened and how you went from being their soul mate to being kicked to the curb.

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Your emotions might have been out of control!

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You might have turned into the crazy ex they told you about from previous relationships, and then when you realised who and what they are, you perhaps wanted to tell everyone! 

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Stepping forward, you are possibly stepping out of this vortex you have been sucked unwillingly or unwittingly into!

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TRAUMA BONDING is one of the reasons it is so hard to heal from Toxic and Emotionally Abusive relationships. The damage caused puts you in a state of confusion. You had no idea the abuse was happening. 

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When they threatened your safety through their bad behaviour, you turned to them for help and protection. You rationalised their behaviour, believing they cared about you, creating further bonding, which was why you felt so connected to them. 

Your stress levels are so high you are living in fear, and you can't imagine your life without them!

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Much like a physical wound, this emotional wound hurts and causes us pain. 

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By tracking down these wounds and allowing them to heal, you feel whole again. You can break the cycle (but please remember, if you have been walking around with these wounds for decades, it might not happen within hours. You have learnt behaviours to protect yourself from further hurt, so not only might there be a few to deal with, but you might need to work on changing your thoughts as well). 

 

The abuser was acting like an earworm, constantly feeding you with information. Undermining you, telling you what to think and how to feel, who you are and who you should be. As well as what you should be doing and who you should spend time with. 

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They use the cycle of abuse to trap you. They have discarded you so many times before. It is common to feel abandoned and lonely and acknowledge these emotions if they creep back in.

 

These wounds can keep you trapped, not allowing you to move on, or when you do move on, there is a chance you will attract a similar relationship.

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We create bonds with our loved ones, caregivers, and people we trust. These bonds were created through trauma. A manufactured situation that forced you into a position where you would turn to them when your safety was threatened. 

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These relationships are intense and designed that way. Not giving you time to think, not allowing you time to acknowledge your gut feelings, and writing off the red flags. 

The abuser sprinkled just enough of your hopes and dreams into the future they created for you to believe it is jointly yours. And they intently listened to what you wanted in a partner and played that role. When you run out of supply (attention) or money, and something or someone better comes along they move on.

 

You've probably picked up most of the pieces and realised who they were and what really went on.

 

You have started to calm down the conflicting memories, realising the abuse that took place, and have acknowledged the gaslighting.

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And you are starting to listen to your gut more. 

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The ultimate goal is Emotional Divorce, and you might be here! YAY 

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Only you will know how secure the trauma bond. You might have severed most of the threads, but if you are still watching them or waiting for them to reach out to you, there is still a little work to do. 

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All I ask is that you are honest now with yourself!

How do I know this? Because this happened to me. It was my story! 

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I was broke and broken, watching, waiting and pretending I was OK, but I wasn't! 

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You ave seen that person who falls over, and you watch them jump up saying, "I'm fine, I'm fine". They hobble off, and you think that had to hurt. That was me! 

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I lived my wonderful life through social media. No one heard about the awful stuff happening behind closed doors.

There were lots of holidays, fun stuff, and meals out, but the reality was that I was running out of energy and money. The day I told him I had just £71.00 left of £32,000K, I felt him withdraw, and he was gone within weeks.

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I understand the pain. Mine might have been for a different reason, but this is like a physical injury, as well as an emotional one!